What's the use of everybody being suddenly so nice to me, just on my birthday? I mean, sure. It's nice to have those ' friends ' celebrate your birthday for you. To have a surprise party. I'm really grateful. I know I'll never be that good. But, if it's only that one day that you guys will treat me nicely, then I rather not see that facade. Sure, I know, I'm irritating and annoying. But that's just who I am. If I'm elected to be section leader, I'm sure it comes with some due respect. I think I'm coming short of it. You know, I'm still human. I still do what my mind thinks. If my mind thinks " Yah. I'm childish. " Then, yah. I'm childish. But, a section leader, is a responsibility. I have to do what I need to do. Yet it doesn't mean, I change for the post.  

I'm sorry for what happened just now. Just to let you know, I respect you a lot ok? As a very outstanding and prominent figure in my life. 

And you. How I hate your cold impression upon me. It's like a beautiful painting in the museum one could see yet not touch. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. You do not speak of my mistake and I'm expected to repent? There was once a upon a time where I felt your warmth. Literately. Maybe it's because of that? That crime? You don't even tell me how you are faring right now. How am I to know what not to do? Have you gotten back to him? Have you not? Tell me. Then I can change. You are always like a group 4 element. Subjected to many changes. Too many. I'm sorry. I've been hurt too many a time.

So I'm just another person to you? Treating me so coldly. As though we never made acquaintance, never made friends. And never made a clique. The way you handle today's situation was so poor. I was really disappointed. After you gain your seat up there, you have became this cold, dark person I'm so afraid of. I quoted you to be, righteous and intelligent. Always standing by what you think. But I was so wrong. Not only did you not try to learn about the case, you immediately sentenced him. To be taken out of nomad. Is there no justice? You didn't try to see that he left on impulse? That is so stereotypical. And accepting things from the corrupted committee. It was so innocent before. Slowly, things begun to spiral downwards. To a destructive end. We were all once so innocent and young. I'm disgusted by what we have evolved to become. I just want things to be normal again. But what is normal when everything is so corrupted and dark? I can just go with the river flow. Even if the waters are murky and the future is distant. For I am just another person.

I'm really sorry... I've changed alot. I'm slow to realize that. And it wasn't for the better. I'm always just another problem to you. I'm terribly sorry for all the trouble and inconvenience I have caused. Yah. Maybe I'm just seeking attention and pity. I'm horrible. Recently, so many things has happened. I've gotten less understanding. I took little time listening to you. I am just always so fast to judge. Maybe, yes. We are different. We'll never meet. We'll never be together. I forgot how to listen. As I start making demands from you and you start to comply, my confidence builds up and like all over confident men, or complacent rather, tend to fall. Really hard at that.

Since when we first met, I've had always listen to your problems, ocassionallu giving a word of encouragement. Now, being so high of myself, I tend to forget my original reason for talking to you.

I used to be able have a calm mind and give non-judgemental ideas. But now, it's all about me me me! How selfish is that. I insist what I want and impose it upon the citizens.

I'm sorry for always being just another problem. The truth is, I love you.